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People who are successful in business don't stumble on success by accident.
They become successful because of some very specific personality traits they have: discipline, hard work ethic, creative thinking, collaboration, intense focus, desire for achievement, drive, and determination.
Although these traits can support business leaders to achieve, they can actually become detrimental to personal relationships.
For example, if you're bringing home the same ruthless mentality of 'leadership', your partner is going to get exhausted and relationally burnt out.
FYI - even if you think you're "totally different at work and at home", I guarantee you're not. You're the same person with the same values and traits - it's just that some traits become more visible in certain situations than others.
Let’s explore why successful leaders struggle in love and how they can rebuild strong, intimate relationships.
The Problem: Why Leaders Struggle in Relationships
High-powered professionals often experience:
Time Poverty: With packed schedules and back-to-back meetings, quality time with a partner often takes a backseat.
Emotional Distance: After a long day of problem-solving, it’s tempting to switch off emotionally rather than engage with a partner’s feelings.
Control Issues: Leaders are used to being in charge, but relationships thrive on collaboration, not domination.
Work-Life Overlap: When work stress spills into personal time, it creates tension and reduces emotional intimacy.
From Business Focused to Relationship Centered
Take Sarah and Tom, a couple who reached out to me after years of growing apart. Sarah was the CEO of a thriving tech company, while Tom had a demanding role as a lawyer. Despite their mutual love, they found themselves feeling like roommates rather than partners.
Sarah admitted, “I treat my marriage like a checklist. ‘Quality time? Done. Apology? Done.’ But it doesn’t feel real.” Tom added, “I feel like I come second to her job—sometimes, not even second.”
Through couples counselling in Manchester UK, Sarah and Tom learned to prioritise their relationship differently. Sarah created a "sacred hour" every evening—a time when work was put away, phones were off, and their focus was solely on each other. They also scheduled a bi-weekly “relationship check-in” where they openly discussed their feelings, needs, and wins as a couple.
The Solutions: Turning Struggles into Strengths
Here’s how you can address the challenges and build a stronger relationship:
Prioritise Quality Time Block off time on your calendar for your partner, just as you would for an important client. Even 15 minutes of undistracted connection daily can make a difference.
Practice Emotional Presence Transition from work to home by creating a “decompression ritual.” Take 10 minutes to meditate, journal, or go for a walk to reset before engaging with your partner.
Collaborate, Don’t Control Instead of trying to “fix” relationship problems like you would a business issue, ask your partner, “What do you need from me right now?”
Learn About Each Other - Constantly The person who you married is not the same person who you married 10 years ago, or even 1 year ago. They have changed and evolved and so have you. You both MUST make the effort to constantly learn about one another so that you are growing together, as opposed to growing apart.
Coaching For Professionals and Wellness Retreats Find a practitioner who is skilled in this area, who does work with high achieving business leaders as this is a niche that normal therapists or counsellors will lack experience. Not to mention, you can go to a wellness retreat to catapult your success and support you to reconnect and rebuild trust (just like Sarah and Tom did in my retreat).
The Payoff: Success in Love and Business
When leaders learn to apply the same intentionality to their relationships as they do to their careers, the results can be transformative. Sarah and Tom now report feeling more connected than ever. Sarah even noticed an unexpected benefit: her improved relationship boosted her creativity and focus at work.
Your career and your love life don’t have to be at odds. By addressing the unique challenges of leadership and love, you can achieve balance and build a relationship that thrives alongside your professional success.
If any of this has resonated with you, please get in touch for a free consultation call to see how you can be best supported to grow, heal, and reconnect to create a fulfilling, loving and passionate relationship.
Also, if you are interested in my exclusive wellness retreat, please book in a call to see if this is the right fit for you, as spaces are selling out fast!
About The Author
Dr. Sarah is a highly sought-after psychologist and relationship coach specialising in helping high-net-worth individuals, entrepreneurs, and business leaders create thriving relationships. With a proven 90% success rate in transforming marriages, she focuses on rebuilding trust, improving communication, and fostering emotional intimacy. As the founder of Relationship Success Lab and host of the Dr. Sarah: Relationship Success Lab podcast, she provides expert insights into overcoming relationship challenges, healing from trauma, and achieving secure, loving partnerships. Connect with Dr. Sarah to optimise your relationship health and unlock the power of fulfilling connections.
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